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Pinball & Pac-Man Games That Use Living Organisms

January 19th 2011 07:24

Skimming the frontier of bioethics, in what could be described as a tawdry biological game show, scientists have developed classic games such as pinball into 'Biotic Pinball PONG DONG' - using live organisms in a world first.

In single-celled 'Tron' style, Stamford researcher Ingmar Reidel-Kruse has developed the “biotic games” to encourage the public to experiment on organisms via virtual entertainment.

Here a player's actions influence the behaviour of an organism in real time, which Kruse says will encourage people to learn about biology - all while they flick an organic 'pinball' towards a garish, point scoring pit.

Kruse says only single-celled organisms, paramecia, are used in the games, excluding “higher-level organisms”. He adds when multiplayers are an option and a line needs to be drawn, the games may incite discussions on bioethics - which of course furthers education.

Another classic game experimented upon was Pac-Man, renamed 'PACmecium'. Here a camera sends live images to a screen, while the game board is superimposed over the organism. A microprocessor then follows the organism's movements and keeps the score.

How does the paramecium move where you want it to? The player controls an electrical field, which 'guides' (or forces) it to eat virtual yeast cells and avoid giant killer pac-fish. Involuntary single-celled psychiatry for kicks? Or maybe an attempt at advertising biology to those with a short attention span.

In any case, Dr Andrew Watermelon, head of the Scandinavian Single-celled Scrutinising Society (SSSS), is concerned over the development. He says single-celled organisms should not be subject to such "reckless experimentation", as a microscopic uprising of jet-whopping proportions could occur.

He says these things are very old, know the terrain, and are riddled in the terrestrial and atmospheric realms. He adds Gaia could soon be fondled in all the wrong places, leading to one gaping great Godzilla of a geological disturbance.

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Posted By: Andy Tope - Category: Tales, Political, Poetry

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Revenge of the Fox

January 17th 2011 07:59

The comely appearance of the sharp witted fox has only added to its allure, thrusting it into the spotlight - in a world where it would be better off hidden.

But this was not meant to be, for the fox likes to steal, and challenge, and up the stakes for good sport – and yes, it is very foxy.

It knows it's easier to steal than hunt, when the going gets tough. This provides for a good story too, for many, except the farmer, who doesn't much like that tale at all.

Then there's fox hunting, condoned by many (including the Victorian Government) on the premise that foxes' hunt small animals to extinction, dogs need exercise, and hunters need shooting practice.

At least in England, where there is a long history of fox hunting (200 fox hunting societies were registered in 2000), they are eating them. Although this appears to be relatively recent, as nearby, Oscar Wilde described fox hunting during his day as “the unspeakable chasing the uneatable”.

Yes, it is not without bias the reporters at the Bagman's Gazette speak of this winsome animal – a graceful relative in a world where friends are few. Which is why it is with satisfaction that this latest incident is reported in the Northern European country of Belarus.

In the country's Grodno region, a picturesque farming area bordering Poland, a lone hunter took a shot at a fox from some distance, wounding the animal. As the man moved in to finish the job with the butt of his rifle, the fox put up a fierce resistance, and a tangle ensued.

In the struggle, the fox somehow managed to get his paw on the trigger, shooting the man in the leg. The sly fox managed to escape, while the man is now recovering in hospital.

There has since been sightings in the forest, of a cock-legged fox wearing a bandanna, with a steely look in its eyes. The locals call him - 'the fox who got its revenge'.

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Posted By: Andy Tope - Category: Tales, Political, Poetry

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Mona Lisa Still Baffles After 500 Years

January 15th 2011 04:58

Crafted by renown renaissance man Leonardo da Vinci over roughly 16 years, the Mona Lisa remains arguably the most revered piece of artwork to date.

The enigmatic expression of the subject (which most believe is Lisa del Giocondo), along with the technique and composition, has both awed and confounded admirers from various gardens and crevices throughout the globe.

In fact, so much so, that in 1911, when the piece was successfully heisted for two years, visitors still flocked to the Louvre to stare at the vacant space where it should have sat. Such mystery surrounding the Mona Lisa continues today.

Modern scholars have even attributed the portrait's ambiguous expression to 'high cholesterol', while in 2010, in true 'Da Vinci Code' style, it was claimed tiny numbers and letters could be spotted (with the help of a magnifying glass) in the Mona Lisa's eyes.

And most recently, the background of the painting is again the subject of controversy after art historian Carla Glori claims certain 'clues' within the artwork point to an exact location.

Based on a recent discovery by fellow historian Silvano Vinceti, Glori believes the numbers seven and two, concealed on the span of the bridge over the left shoulder of Mona Lisa, are a reference to the year 1472 - the year a tempestuous flood annihilated a bridge in the town of Bobbio.

Located in rugged Northern Italy, Bobbio was the location for the film 'The Name of The Rose'. The area was also described by Ernest Hemingway as the most beautiful in the world.

While the discovery has raised an eyebrow or two, most experts believe the painting's location was a figment of da Vinci's imagination.

Vinceti believes the numbers are associated with Kabbalism (a form of mystical Judaism), while renown da Vinci scholar Martin Kemp thinks Leonardo created the landscape based on his “knowledge of the body of Earth”.

In any case, news of Glori's 'discovery' has escalated tourist numbers in the Louvre and Bobbio, with activity in both locales growing faster than a bamboo plant in Borneo.

Claims of new clues found within the painting have risen by a purported 73%, while a rise in black market da Vinci tours (run by bankrupt locals) between Paris and Bobbio has created terrestrial mayhem - as fruit trucks, buses and motor scooters batter European villages.

Augustus Finkle, head of Bobbio Leisure and Tourism (BLT), is disgusted by the turn of events. He says Bobbio has transmogrified into a despicable hamlet of greed, as treasure hunters, pseudo priests and detectives have dug numerous tunnels, drained the river, and scoffed the town's supply of his favourite donuts.

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Posted By: Andy Tope - Category: Tales, Political, Poetry

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Iceland Sings for Nature on Magical Night

January 8th 2011 07:33

While many are focusing on New Year's resolutions, or recovering from over indulgence and extended family awkwardness, a fierce war is raging on a North Atlantic Island between an energy giant and the most spirited karaoke singers, musicians and magical creatures of the land.

On the auspicious day of Threttándinn, Icelandic singer Bjork officially launched a karaoke marathon and song festival extravaganza as part of a campaign to win back her country's natural resources.

The event was put together to revoke Canadian Magma Energy's acquisition agreement of Icelandic energy company HS Orka, which Prime Minister Jóhanna Sigurdardóttir believes is a distinct possibility providing the event can garner roughly 35,000 signatures.

And with 20,000 signatures already in hand, Bjork is confident the petition's goal - “Icelandic natural resources shall be owned and governed by the public” - shall be met before the event is through.

Kicking off at 3pm in the Nordic House in Reykjavik, the nation's capital, the festival saw karaoke titans and hot dog Icelandic singers bust out in melodious splendour until midnight last night. The event, which is set to continue for three days, includes visits to various other parts of the country.

In an interview with Icelandic newspaper Fréttabladid, Bjork exclaimed it was no coincidence the event kicked off on Threttándinn, also known as the 'last day of Christmas' - a magical time where elves sprout from the hills, supernatural beings roam freely, and cows speak fluent English.

It is said on Threttándinn that elves and trolls attempt to lure folk into their world, and those that listen to a cow's conversation will become utterly deranged – all the while Atlantic seals shed their skin before walking naked around the Island in a unique oceanic fashion parade.

Although, with the blood of the hills flowing through their veins, the singers yielding their nationalistic sword of harmony have very little to worry about. It is the foreigners, with their strange smells and un-Icelandic machines, that will be lost, driven to madness, sucked into a land to which they don't belong, to the gradually fading sounds of Icelandic karaoke.

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Posted By: Andy Tope - Category: Tales, Political, Poetry

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Romanian Government Threatened by Witchcraft

January 6th 2011 07:19

In a desperate bid to dispel the dark cloud of recession, the Romanian Government has declared witchcraft a legal profession in order to curb tax evading witches who cast spells for cash-in-hand.

The move has outraged the witches of Bucharest, sparking a ring of neo-pagan protests.

One witch named Bratara has threatened to "create discord" within the government by casting a spell made from yeast and black pepper, which has further horrified the chefs of Romania operating on already scant rations.

The move to tighten the witches' working pay was given the governmental go-ahead after months of protests by witches and ridicule by the media.

Among those joining the country's newest tax payers are astrologers, embalmers and valets - all who stand united in a chorus of disgust over what they describe as a "breach on their underclass liberty". Not all, however, have greeted the move with such acid tongues.

Dudley Stingrocket, CEO of Bucharest's Unemployment and Matriculation Services (BUMS), has said the unemployed are delighted at the formal recognition of witchcraft. He says many are giddy at the prospect of applying for positions in the dark arts, where one could claim 'spell tax' on alley filth such as bat's blood and toe clippings.

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Posted By: Andy Tope - Category: Tales, Political, Poetry

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The Soldier of Gaia in Disguise

October 29th 2010 06:50

For millions of years the powers of Gaia have thundered across the earth, governing the unwritten laws of the world with ferocity, scintillating beauty and the inevitability of change. Today, the commodification of all things great and small is contesting these powers in a game it cannot win.

As this beast of industrialisation rages ignorantly against the powers of the goddess, many scientists, eco-warriors and politicians struggle to tame its chaos – all while the world's ecosystems are being splintered to the core. The situation is dire. However, Japan, has a plan

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Posted By: Andy Tope - Category: Tales, Political, Poetry

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Ancient Animal Urine Shines Light on Climate Change

October 14th 2010 08:44

In a desperate bid to gauge African climate patterns, English scientists have leapt to the wild savannas with angle grinders to saw off shards of age old crystallized animal urine.

The small hairy hyrax, a relative of the graceful elephant, has been known to frequent specific locations to relieve itself, intergenerationally - over thousands of years

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Posted By: Andy Tope - Category: Tales, Political, Poetry

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Furry Gods of the Earth

October 7th 2010 08:34

There are mysteries within the world that lay hidden, and then there are mysteries that wander the Earth in disguise, as it is thought that their ways are known.

Such is the coyote, the canine species that roams throughout North and Central America, often depicted as a crude survivor of the land

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Posted By: Andy Tope - Category: Tales, Political, Poetry

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High-Speed Space Menace

September 16th 2010 16:22

The race for space - the quest for the final frontier has seen billions of dollars spent, numerous flags planted, and the likes of dogs and chimps hurled throughout weightless darkness in experimental delirium.

And now, space junk - the hideous term of post space race exploration, where the offshoots of modern progress are left splintered, unused, and orbiting the earth at the ludicrous speeds of 30,000 kph

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Posted By: Andy Tope - Category: Tales, Political, Poetry

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The Secret Life of a Lonely Old Lady

September 15th 2010 13:52

The English seaside town of Torquay, once home to the exalted Agatha Christie, has produced another thriller, although one that is decidedly less known.

On September 2nd, 89 year old Eileen Nearne reached the end of her life, passing away in her small flat. She had no known relatives or friends, preferring a cloistered existence to see out the end of her days

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Posted By: Andy Tope - Category: Tales, Political, Poetry

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Dodo Last Seen in Oxford

September 7th 2010 11:31

Until the 17th century, the tropical forested Island of Mauritius was uninhabited by humans, and the blundering bow beaked Dodo lived in relative peace and harmony.

Enter the Dutch and French - bringing dogs and cats, pigs and rats. Whereby the flightless, fearless Dodo, used to living in isolation, was soon plundered, trampled and scoffed in tropical ignorance until it was all but extinct

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Posted By: Andy Tope - Category: Tales, Poetry

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Demonic Fungus Possesses Ants For 48-Million-Years

August 24th 2010 09:45

The dirty German Messel Pit - home to one of the world's most splendid fossil collections, is at it again, this time producing startling new evidence of a devilish ant possessing fungus, from deep within an ancient German forest.

The parasitic fungus, still alive today, lives mid way between the canopy and forest floor, where it once attached itself to carpenter ants as they sauntered home to their forest canopy families

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Posted By: Andy Tope - Category: Tales, Political, Poetry

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Violent Storm Conceives 'Mysterious Island'

August 12th 2010 14:32

One dark and violent morning in the early days of 2009, the most powerful force to hit France in years came storming down upon the edge of the Atlantic.

Winds of up to 200 km/ph tore through the nebulous dawn, leaving 26 people dead, forests and power lines crushed, buildings and roads annihilated, and the people of Rowan (a tiny fishing port) utterly flabbergasted

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Posted By: Andy Tope - Category: Tales, Political, Poetry

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British Chap Treks Entire Amazon in Two Years

August 10th 2010 13:26

From deep within the recesses of adventure and lunacy, former British army captain Ed Stafford has braved numerous toxic perils to become the first known man to walk the entire length of the Amazon River.

Armed with an internet satellite phone for entertainment, Stafford spent his comfortable nights watching episodes of 'The Office' in between affairs with 5.5-metre-long caimans, titanic anacondas and "50,000 mosquito bites

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Posted By: Andy Tope - Category: Tales, Political, Poetry

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