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Bagman's Gazette - Punctuation is Optional

 
Bullamakanka is a bent and twisted old man who does not have a cat. He does have five goannas though and a possum who lives in the wall. None of them help with the writing, the lazy buggers.

What do you say?

December 14th 2006 11:18
When someone asks you what you do, what do you say?

Do you say, ‘I’m a writer’ or ‘I’m a poet’ or do you tell them you are a: Welder, Hairdresser, Checkout chick, etc.

Do you hesitate trying to decide what to say. Are you afraid to tell people that you write poetry, fantasy, science fiction, romance.

Would it be different if you could say ‘Oh, I write for the Times’.

Do you always add a qualifier when you say you re a writer.

“I’m a writer, well, I’m a hairdresser trying to be a writer.”

Let’s cut to the chase here. Are you a writer?


Being a writer is being an artist, if you are an artist, that’s it. You are. You might work at any other job to keep food in your belly. It doesn’t matter what job you work at to keep yourself alive. You can be a hairdresser this week and stop being a hairdresser next week.

But, if you are an artist you can’t just stop being an artist. Yes you can stop doing the art, but you can’t stop being an artist. It will always show through in everything you do.

If you try to suppress the artist you risk your mental and physical health.

I have worked as a welder for years, but I’m an artist. I have worked as a solar power consultant, but I’m an artist.

Today, when someone asks me what I do I look them in the eye and say “I’m a writer”.

And I feel good.
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Writers Block?

December 9th 2006 21:54
Writers Block. Demon or Muse gone bad?

The curse of writers every where. Does it really exist? Can it consume your soul? Rot your brain? Turn you into a mumbling, mindless fool at the keyboard?

Why should we believe in such a monster? If it exists, then point it out, shove it into the bright light of day, expose it for what it is claimed to be.

Well, I’m waiting. . .

Show me this beast that eats the words from your very mind.

You can’t, can you?

But I can, the face of this ravening beast is as close as your mirror.

Honestly folks, writers block does not exist, except as an excuse not to listen to our subconscious.


Writers block - Muse, Muse - Writers block, two sides of the same coin. Everyone wants the Muse and no one wants writers block, I’m sorry, but you can’t toss a heads every time (well, not unless you use an Australian two dollar coin).

As writers we all suffer from bouts of not being able to put words on paper (or screen as may be) but it’s not because of some evil beast spawned from the nether regions sent to destroy us.

The conscious mind has an ego as big as the Queen Mary. In fact there are those that would have it that the conscious mind is all “EGO”. What ever the truth is, the fact remains that the conscious mind is dead set certain that it is the boss.

But it’s a lot like marriage. In this union we have the conscious mind (male) and the unconscious mind (female, this is where we get the concept of the muse).

Let’s take this simile a step further. WB says he is going to watch the football on the weekend, M says WB is going to paint the bed room on the weekend. If they don’t come to an agreement then the weekend is going to be a dead loss.

So you might consciously decide to write, the subconscious says ‘Hang on a moment, we’re not ready to write yet.’ Now the conscious mind might insist that the writing will be done Now! So you sit down at the keyboard and. . . write a line, delete the line, get up, sit down, wipe the counter, fiddle with the radio, put out the cat, make another cup of tea, let the cat in, etc, etc.

Yes, we have all been there. And yes, the conscious mind can over ride the subconscious. And yes, a lot of therapists will buy a new BMWs.

Writers block does not exist.

Ah, but the Muse. She is real. She is the personification of balance between the conscious and subconscious. To find your muse is to find that balance.

So if you hit a patch where the words won’t flow, relax. The words are there. They’re just being sorted out by the subconscious. Go and do something else, anything else. When the words are ready for use, you will be ready to use them.

But if you let the ego rant about writers block, then for you, it will exist.
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Proper development of characters

December 6th 2006 12:33
This is one of my favourites when it comes to writing and editing. It is one of the areas that writers make the most mistakes.

I have posted on this subject before but it always crops up in books that I read. It drives me to distraction. There is really no reason for it to happen.
The latest is in Terry Pratchett’s “The Light Fantastic”. Page 139 in the Corgi paper back.

The character is Twoflower. ‘There was this. . . a clock that. . . and these people who. . . ’ said Twoflower. He shook his head. ‘Why does everything smell of horses?’

Now we fast forward to Page 228 where we find;

Which explains why, when the shop finally materialized in Ankh-Morpork, Rincwwind sat bolt upright and said ‘We’re here,’ Bethan went pale and Twoflower, who had no sense of smell, said, ‘Really? How can you tell?’

Now, how does this happen? Well, it’s all too easy. There we are writing away and we write something about a character and later on while the words are flowing and the keys are running hot under our fingers, we write this really great line.

As fate would have it, and we all know that fate is a real bitch, someone points out the discrepancy to the whole world to see. Character development is important. You have to get to know your characters.

Now another point of editing that has caught my eye is a matter of inconsistency in style. Style is different from country to country and indeed from publisher to publisher. As a writer you will need to know what the style is for the publisher you intend to regale with your writing.

Now, Corgi books is British. The style convention for British publishers is to use single quotation marks for speaking and double quotation marks for quotes. The interesting thing is that while Corgi follows this convention they have used the American spelling of “materialized” as opposed to the British “materialised”.

Well, that’s enough for this post. Now all I have to do is find a subject for the next one.
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What’s it all about, Editor

December 4th 2006 11:05
Editing, as I have said before, is something that all writers should do. Editing covers a wide range of problems writers often fail to catch in their own work.

The reason we fail to catch these problems is that when we read our own work, our brain is reading what we wrote in our minds and not what we actually typed.

The two areas of editing of most interest to writers are:
• Substantive or structural editing
• Copy editing

What makes these so special? Well, money really.

You see, when you have finished your manuscript it will need to be edited by someone. That someone is going to be paid and how well you have done your own editing will have a lot of bearing on how many hours that person spends on the job.

“But we’re writers, not editors.” Yes I hear you.

As a writer you are an editor, you edit as you write. This is what writing is. All you need is a better understanding of the editing requirements to write to your best ability.

But beware, it is all too easy to become trapped in the editing cycle to the point of a never ending edit where no writing gets done. You have to strike a balance.

Some writers edit as they go along, some write a whole book and then edit it, some edit as chapters are finished. What approach you take will depend on your temperament. But no matter how you do it you will need to understand what is required. You will already know some of this.

Structural editing as a writer means you need to be aware of the structure and sequence of your story. Maintaining clear and unambiguous language. Proper development of characters, plot and setting. Use language that is appropriate for the intended market. Avoid sexist and racist bias.

The writer as a copyeditor must watch out for grammar, punctuation and spelling as well as paragraphing. Then there are omissions, repetitions and inaccuracies to keep an eye on as well.

Can you even remember what the story was about? It really isn’t as bad as it sounds. As writers we do the editing, I mean, we look after the spelling and grammar in the background as it is, so adding these other bits of editing to our background editing should be no trouble at all.
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Apologies

November 27th 2006 11:53
Yes, I’m sorry. Sad and sorry. I wanted to write a great post on editing. But my mind is a total blank. Has been for a couple of days now. So today you are stuck with some drivel spawned from mental exhaustion and an empty head.

A few years ago I was in a class called “Short Story”. Yeah, go on, have a guess what it was about.

The teacher set us a task, to write a short story containing the words “I remember” at the beginning. I have never been very good at following instructions. Anyway this is the story I wrote;

In 1994 I had a heart attack. It was a strange affair. One moment I was fine and the next I was. . . well not fine.

No I didn’t clutch at my chest and fall to the ground. I did not turn green, or any other colour. But I knew.

At first I told myself the lies, but I knew what it was. Somewhere inside you just know. I ended up in the hospital, one of many that I saw the inside of over the next few months. From this first hospital I got to ride in an ambulance with the lights and siren going. Missed the whole show actually, due to being pumped full of morphine. This trip brought me to my second hospital.

Very nice people in hospitals. In the second one I met a young male nurse who spent a long time cleaning my navel while we discussed photography and old buildings. After a week they sent me home.

A month later I saw the inside of another hospital in the city where they took pictures of my heart. I suspect that photography is a past time much loved in hospitals. I would like to point out that an angiogram is much worse than open heart surgery and I only got to see one picture.

Three months later I was in yet another hospital. This time I was to be gently opened with a circular saw through the chest. The people in this hospital were very nice. The night before I was to meet the man with the saw a fellow came and said that he was there to give me a shave. It is hard to describe the joy of a body shave. I mean this left the belly button cleaner for dead in no time flat.

The next morning they wheeled me down to the theater for the big show. While I was being preped for surgery the fellow doing the work on me approached with a needle and said ‘This may sting a bit.’ It did.

The last thing I remember saying was; “If I wake up dead I’m going to be really pissed off.”

Okay, hardly great literature, I know. But that is not the point. The point is that I thought of this story when Lauren at www.travelnottour.com mentioned Synchronicity.

Synchronicity - noun: The relation that exists when things occur at the same time.

Have you spotted the point yet?

Okay, I’ll tell you. After writing our little stories, we had to read them out to the class.

I got as far as; “From this first hospital I got to ride in an ambulance with the lights and siren going.” when from the fire station across the road a fire engine took off with the siren going.

That is “Synchronicity”.

And the editing, well, if this was a murder story and I had left out the vital clue to solving the crime, such as there being a fire station next to the school, the story would be rejected.
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Gods (cont.)

November 25th 2006 08:20
While we are on the topic of gods perhaps a bit on their relationships would be in order.
Why, well, because the relationships between characters is importent. While most of these gods may or may not show up in a story, I still have them on hand if needed. The same also goes for my other characters. keeping track of characters makes writing easy. Now as these gods are actually the invention of the people of Helengon they also define the people of Helengon.
This tale starts with the creation of the world of Helengon


[ Click here to read more ]
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Characters, the gods

November 24th 2006 09:34
Am I sane or not? To tell the truth I don’t know. After all what sane person would undertake not one, but five novels. Six if we count the sci-fi as well.

It started when I was in a class called Myths and Symbols. Virtually on the first day, we were set the task of creating a world and twelve Gods. Yes, an even dozen of the little buggers. Sometimes I wish they would leave me alone. It’s, nag, nag, nag. This one complains about her wardrobe, another wants top billing and they all want to be the hero in every story


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Writing

November 20th 2006 12:00
It doesn’t matter what you write, no matter what it is, from the crudest porn to the most precise encyclopaedia, there is a market for your writing.

Why can’t you get published? The number one reason is that publishers are in business to make money, pure and simple. Not as some believe, to publish books. They have to see the money in your book, no, I don’t mean you should stick a bribe in your manuscript, and never put it past the third page, they seldom read that far


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Why? (cont.)

November 13th 2006 12:18
Why write? Better yet, what to write. How do you write that book that people just can’t put down? Well, part of the answer is what I said about being the shaman of the tribe. It’s about the ability to reach into another human’s soul. It’s about telling a tale that resonates with the primitive part of a person’s brain. It’s about learning to use the myths and symbols that are imbedded in our racial memory.

It’s about magic


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Why?

November 11th 2006 13:10
Why? It’s such a simple question. I’m told the simple answer is, “Why not?”

Well so much for philosophy 101


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Why?

November 11th 2006 13:10
Why? It’s such a simple question. I’m told the simple answer is, “Why not?”

Well so much for philosophy 101


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Hero’s Journey

November 10th 2006 13:58
The “Hero”, other wise known as the protagonist. The hero is on a journey. This is the story arc. A simple story arc is “Aristotle’s Incline”

Aristotle's Incline
The Hero's Journey

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Character Development

November 6th 2006 11:08
Okay, ‘The godless ones’, What’s it all about?

Well, I’m building characters, from scratch as it were. And as I write what is commonly, these days, referred to as speculative fiction, I tend to mix scifi and fantasy


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